How on earth did this happen?

Like any parent dealing with a child's addiction, I would think “how on earth did this happen?” How did my child become addicted to drugs? Why are so many young people battling addiction?

I had many questions that needed answers. Our child should not be battling an addiction. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. To make sense of it all, I went on a quest for information. What I found was eye-opening.

My son did not become addicted because we were bad parents. We were good, loving parents. It was not because he has weak morals. He is the most kind, caring person you could ever meet. Of course, we already knew all of this.

If you want to know who is to blame for this prescription drug epidemic, follow the money trail. Who had the most to gain from the sale of these drugs? It was certainly not Mike and me. It was not the other parents I’ve met on this journey either. And, it certainly wasn’t our addicted children.

The money trail leads right to the pharmaceutical companies who were laughing all the way to the bank. It was proven in court that they misled government, medical schools, doctors, and patients about the addictive properties of their prescription pain pills. They were ordered to pay $600 million in damages. Just a drop in the bucket compared to the profits they made and continue to make.  

Unfortunately, the harm they caused (and continue to cause) was great. So many people were addicted and this continues to this day as these pain pills claim new victims.

Canada is the second largest consumer of opiates in the world. The United States is the largest, although not by much. Some people legitimately need these medications, and I am glad they have found the relief they need. Many more do not need them so they get diverted to the street, and into the hands of people like my son.

My son was 15 when the pharmaceutical company was convicted. He was even younger than that when the problem began. There were no local media reports, no public service announcements, no nothing!

Not a peep!

We were going about our business of raising our children, thinking that the world was as safe as it was when we were young. We had no idea that there was something lurking out there that was going to rip the hearts right out of our chests and turn our world upside down. No clue. As we laughed together, ate meals, read Robert Munsch books, and made plans for the future, the storm was waiting outside of our door. We hadn’t heard a thing about it.

Not a peep.

Our son said, “I know that you and dad always talked to me about drugs but you didn’t say prescription drugs so when a friend had them I thought they were safe because they were prescribed by a doctor.”  We couldn’t talk about something we didn’t know. We hadn’t heard a thing about prescription drugs on the street.

Not a peep.

In silence, this epidemic surrounded us, claiming many victims, including my son and many of his peers.

Now, some would say that all kids (and their parents) in this generation were in the same boat but they did not become addicted. That is absolutely correct.

Some kids didn’t try these drugs at all. Good on them.

But, some kids did! Not because they weren’t raised properly. Not because their parents didn’t talk to them about drugs. No, they tried them because they were easy to access, they were curious, and they thought they were safe.

Just like our parents warned us about drinking, and put the fear of God into us about what would happen to us if we did, we still drank because the alcohol was available. We were curious and wanted to join in the fun. We also never thought anything bad would ever happen to us. Were our parents negligent? Did they not raise us properly? If your parents were like mine, they did the best they could to ensure that you wouldn’t drink.

Just like us with our alcohol, a good percentage of the kids who experimented with these prescription drugs were able to walk away. I am so grateful for that!

However, my son and many others were not so lucky. They developed the disease of addiction. The same way that some patients legally prescribed opiates will develop an addiction and some won’t, some of our kids got hooked and some didn’t. We all have different genetic make ups, leaving some more susceptible than others to this brain disease.

When youth take drugs it is like playing Russian roulette. They don’t know if they will become addicted or not. We can talk to them about the dangers but, as we know, many youth have to find out for themselves. This is why it is up to us, as a society, to protect them by controlling their access to prescription drugs (or any other drugs for that matter). We can do our part by locking up these medications if we have them in our homes.  

We can also be kind, caring and compassionate toward those who are suffering from addiction. After all, when they tried drugs, they never dreamed that they would develop an addiction that would destroy their lives. You may think that they should know better because there are many horror stories. When we were kids, we heard many stories about smoking, drinking, and driving too fast – some young people even died from it in our communities – but it didn’t stop us from doing it. We were invincible.

Even now as adults, we take risks even though we know the consequences. A great example is our unhealthy diets and lack of exercise. We all know that these two things can lead to a myriad of health problems, including an early death. Yet, the majority of us haven’t changed our lifestyles. Why then do we expect kids to make the right decisions based on the known risks? Their brains are not even fully developed enough to be able to properly assess the risks and consequences.  

Kindness and understanding will go a long way in dealing with this epidemic. When people feel comfortable enough to reach out for help, we all benefit! Be part of the solution, not the problem.

Sincerely,

Rose

The Opiate Effect: An important and powerful video

When I watched the video below called "The Opiate Effect", I knew that every man, woman and child had to see it. Through the years, I've watched many good videos on addiction but only two of them ever made it on this blog. This is number three.

The video is informative, powerful, and NECESSARY! As a society, we can fight the prescription drug epidemic by getting educated. Two important things that the video covers are what our kids think about the drug talks we have with them, and how all of the stereotypes that we grab onto as a way to try to understand this dilemma don’t apply. This powerful video covers so much more than that too! 

Please watch this video and share this blog post so that we can reach as many people as possible.

Sincerely,

Rose

PS: A very special thank you to Green River Pictures for creating this video, which is free for everyone. Please show your appreciation by checking them out on Facebook at Green River Pictures

Ignorance and Hope

Addiction can bring out the ugliness in people. I am not just talking about those battling this chronic brain disease. I am talking about the judgers and the haters who have a lot to say but, in reality, know very little about the disease. They would be wise to listen to the farmer on the news last night who was talking about a problem they are having. He said, “We can’t know what we don’t know” or something to that effect. He is absolutely right!

Why then, do we feel so free to judge and make hurtful comments about those battling addiction? I am quite confident that if you do not work in the field of addiction, or you do not have a family member suffering from it, then you probably give it very little time and attention. I get that. There are a lot of illnesses out there. We can’t possibly become well-versed in each one especially one as complex as addiction.

Addiction is a terrible disease where the symptoms are behavioral and that is not fun for anyone. I get that, too. What we have to understand is that no amount of shaming will make the problem go away, but compassion might help! Dig deep and find compassion and accept that there are things that you don’t understand about the disease.

Do you know that cancer was stigmatized once too? It was stigmatized because it was misunderstood. People at that time would have had many reasons why it shouldn’t be called a disease and why the person ended up with it (she was always sad; he was cranky all the time, etc.). Over time the truth came out and people began to accept that it was, in fact, a disease that could happen to anyone, not just the weak-willed. We’ll get there with addiction, too!

As my connections expand, I am exposed to the addiction problem in many areas around the world as well as the level of ignorance and stigma that surround the disease. One lady recently told a story about how her friends were discussing the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman on Facebook. They didn’t know her child was addicted because she was keeping it a secret. Every negative comment about addicts cut like a knife.

One friend of many years posted a comment that was so hurtful that this mom decided to send her an email and share their secret. She had hoped to make her friend realize that it can happen to anyone. Her friend was very unsympathetic and said, “Well, I can’t be your friend anymore”. The lady was devastated that her friend would be like that. 

My heart ached for this poor woman. It takes so much courage to tell your secret, and that is what she got in return. I commented on how terrible that was. I also wrote the following:

“I don’t know if I am super blessed or if I just live in a really great place but I have NEVER had anyone say anything negative to me since I shared our secret. People have been very supportive, which has empowered me to continue speaking publicly and try to make a difference.”

Of course, I realize that this may not be everyone’s experience when they open up about their struggles but I am so grateful that it was mine. It allowed me to start the healing process.

As I often do, I felt proud to be an Islander where people are, for the most part, kind and respectful.

I wanted to thank you – my fellow Islanders – for your kindness. Those of us who have spoken out, or who are enduring this nightmare in silence, are always grateful for your compassion and support.  Of course, we know that there are still people who don’t get it (read the anonymous comments in The Guardian lately) but I think we’re changing some attitudes, and that’s a start!

May you never experience this nightmare in your family but if you do I pray that things will be better and you won’t face any obstacles in getting treatment. By that time, I would hope that addiction will be treated with the same level of care and concern as any other illness. That is my greatest wish for all of us.

Sincerely,

Rose

Dear God

“Dear God, please give me cancer. Give me any disease. Give me anything painful and I’ll carry it. I can handle it. Just don’t take my child from me.”

“Dear God, please give my child’s pain to me so that I can carry it for him. Please God. Please. He is hurting so much.”

“Dear God, please take away my son’s addiction. Please let me carry the pain for him. Give me a disease. Give me anything. Take all my limbs. I don’t care. Just let me have my son back.”

“Dear God, I promise you, if my son gets better I will not give up the fight. I don’t need to see my son sick and suffering in order to have the motivation to continue the fight. I see the pain all around me. I can’t ignore it. I will keep fighting. Please let my son get well so that I will have more energy for the fight. Please give me my son back.”

Just some of the many deals I tried to make with God over the years. Parents of sick children would do anything to help them become well again. ANYTHING! We would sacrifice our own lives if it was possible.

My faith got me through this painful journey. We are so grateful to have our son back. We have been blessed with an amazing gift, his recovery.

I made a promise that I intend to keep. I will never leave anyone behind in this battle. I will not rest until every person battling addiction on this Island has access to the treatment they need, even if they have to make 100 attempts at it. That 100^th time can be the one that saves them.

I can't do it alone. I hope that you will join me (and all the others out there raising awareness) with your open mind and open heart in helping those suffering with this cold, cruel disease. 

Sincerely,

Rose