Anthony's Act: A Loving Tribute

I received an email yesterday from Valerie Fiore, a mother who lost her son to addiction. So heartbreaking! She was wondering if I would write a poem about her son, Anthony. Gulp! My poetry comes from a deep place in my heart because it is about my son and my experience as a parent. I’ve never tried to write about someone else, a stranger, although I know that many of our journeys are very similar. I didn't want to let her down or promise something that I couldn't deliver. I said that I would try and, hopefully, something would come to me.

Valerie sent me some information about Anthony, and it touched my heart. We were off to a good start! I downloaded a photo of him and put it in my Word document for inspiration. He was so beautiful, just like all of our kids. I prayed last night for the words that would properly capture this young man’s essence and his life’s journey. I sat down today to write and the words came to me and so did the tears. I am so grateful and relieved that I was able to give this to her.

Please read the poem (written from Valerie to Anthony), then sign the petition and share with your friends. Together, we can make a difference.

Anthony’s Act

A beautiful blessing, my dark-haired boy

Sent from above, full of love and joy.

The years passed quickly, with my little cub scout

A very bright boy, never going without.

Vacations filled with laughter, and lots of plans

Lazy days at the beach, on Florida’s white sands.

A normal childhood, in a loving home

This was Anthony’s life, before he began to roam.

He reached that age, where independence is sought

Looking for acceptance, but it would be hard fought.

Bullies and rejection, took the joy from his heart

No longer feeling worthy, he began to fall apart.

Keeping the pain to himself, he did the best he could

To find a place to belong, but the situation wasn’t good.

Slipping further away, our boy became distant

His drug use escalated, in what seemed like an instant.

He made it to college, where things became worse

Pills became a memory, with the heroin curse.

Hearing this news, we picked up our son

Badly needing treatment, if this battle was to be won.

Ninety days of inpatient, gives them the best chance

But, insurance doesn’t cover this; it is a life and death dance.

The short-term stays were not enough, our boy needed longer

Recovery homes in unhealthy areas, made the cravings stronger.

We fought all we could, and begged and pleaded

Please keep our boy, give him what is needed.

After a tough six year battle, he began to heal

For eight wonderful months, it hardly seemed real.

Laughing again, and calling me mudder

Spending time with Nick, his beloved little brother.

A new job and car, and cooking meals for his pack

So thankful to God, I cried, “I got my Anthony back”.

We began to feel hopeful, that this time he may have made it

But hope turned to despair, when I found him in our basement.

Good-bye our dear Anthony, you are loved beyond words

I miss your beautiful smile, and your laughter, now unheard.

Your life had meaning, you didn’t die in vain

In your memory we fight, to save others from this pain.

We made a promise to you, son; a solid pact

That we would make a difference, through the Anthony’s Act.

We will not let one more suffer, as companies earn high profits

In your name, we stand, as we try to stop it.

Written by: Rose Barbour in memory of Anthony and all those who’ve been lost to this terrible epidemic and those still in the trenches. Things need to change. Please sign the petition! http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/anthonys-act

Playing Doctor is a Deadly Game

When my husband and I first started out on this journey with our son, we didn’t know much about addiction. But, we did know that people could die from it, and that was enough to scare us half to death. We couldn’t afford to be complacent so we jumped into action. We had a lot to learn in a short amount of time.

There’s a saying that a worried mother does better research than the FBI. Well, that was certainly the case here. I left no stone unturned searching for information about addiction. My experience in preparing and writing research papers really came in handy because I knew the value in finding reputable sources. I could also easily identify writings that were based on personal opinion only, not on evidence. There is a lot of that out there, by the way!

I also talked to people in recovery who took the time to share their experience, strength and hope with me. I have nothing but love and respect for each and every one of them for what they taught me and the care they showed in my time of need. Unfortunately, though, many of them were anti-methadone (most people are because we only hear the bad stuff – this needs to change) and this, sadly, made me anti-methadone, too, for a little while. I was easily influenced because I hadn’t researched methadone at that point in time. They had more experience so if they said methadone was not a good thing, who was I to argue? That is why when our son first started talking about getting on the waiting list for methadone, I turned my nose up at the idea but, thankfully, he put his name on the list anyway.

To prepare for our son to be on methadone, I started doing research on it. I discovered that the consensus from the leaders in health (World Health Organization, for example) is that medications like methadone and suboxone are very effective in the treatment of opioid addiction, especially when combined with other therapies. With this newfound knowledge, I was so glad that my son was on the waiting list for methadone. I prayed the call to start the program would come before it was too late.

The call finally came fifteen months ago, and his whole life changed thanks to methadone. He got healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. He is independent and self-sufficient. He is a successful full-time college student. He is a contributing member of the household. He is a taxpayer. He is everything that a person his age should be. We have our son back. We are blessed.

After being on methadone for ten successful months, our son decided that he wanted to try to slowly taper off of it. We were nervous about this because he was doing so well on the medications and we were VERY proud of him. He was and is very smart about his recovery and loves having his life back so that helped to put our minds at ease about the taper and to trust in the process.

His taper has been very successful so far. There was only one time where he had to ask to go back up and stay at the previous level a little bit longer. We told him that there is no shame in having to go back up in dosage or in staying on methadone long-term, for that matter. He knows that we are proud and supportive of him no matter what. There is no stigma, judgement or pressure in our house....just two proud parents who are so grateful to have their son back.

I am writing this today because I do not want another family to turn their nose up like we did at the very treatment that just may save their loved one. Let your loved ones choose the path that is right for them, and be supportive and proud of him/her for doing so. This world is not kind to people who struggle with addiction and it is not easy to stay in recovery regardless of the path you’re on so family support is crucial.  Look at your child on medications with pride, not disappointment or disgust.

We should always follow the advice of medical experts on the treatment of any disease and be open to “whatever works” for each person. It is their life after all! There are far too many “doctors” out there when it comes to addiction and it is a deadly game they are playing. Playing doctor is a fun game for kids, but it is not so fun for adults in the real world when lives are at stake. It is a fact that addiction kills many people; most of whom couldn’t get the proper level of help, wouldn’t reach out for help because of stigma, or who felt forced to end their treatment too soon. That is sad.

The reality is that recovering from the disease of addiction no more qualifies one to provide medical advice on the disease than recovering from heart disease qualifies one to provide medical advice on that disease. If you had a serious disease, would you want to be treated by a medical professional trained in the disease or someone who has recovered from it but has no medical training? People in recovery from diseases have an important place in the continuum of care in the role of after-care support, not treatment provider. 

I am quite sure that my views, which are based on scientific evidence, do not make me popular with some people in the recovery community and I am okay with that. What I am not okay with is people dying while we try to fit them into a box when it comes to their recovery. Our knowledge of addiction has changed in the last 80 years but our treatment and recovery programs have not kept pace. We would not accept this for any other illness and I personally will not accept it for addiction either. I will make waves, tick people off, and continue to fight to have addiction treated like any other serious health issue because lives depend on it. I hope that you will care enough to get informed, too. Did you know that addiction-related deaths are decreased by 50% with methadone and suboxone? These medications are effective treatments for this deadly disease. It is time to end the stigma!

My friend, Ronnie, and I have also created a Facebook group called Take it to the MAT for people in PEI (and elsewhere) on medication assisted treatments (MAT) and their families.  It is also for people who are considering this option and want some reliable information.  Please join us if you meet the criteria. We’d love to support and empower you and your loved one in reaching and maintaining the beautiful gift of recovery.

Sincerely,

Rose

http://shadowsinpei.blogspot.ca/2015/01/playing-doctor-is-deadly-game.html

Please click HERE to watch an informative video featuring Michael P. Botticelli, Acting Director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP) and Dr. Melinda Campopiano, Medical Officer for the Center for Substance Abuse Treatment at SAMHSA and Board Certified Family Medicine Physician who discuss the benefits of medication assisted treatment at the 12:00 minute mark.

We Need YOU!

We Need YOU!

By: Rose Barbour

We are in the midst of an epidemic, and things need to change

It will take a big movement so we need you to engage

You can help by getting informed and spreading the word

People are dying by the thousands, haven’t you heard?

Engaging can be as simple as sharing the stories you see

From brave families dealing with addiction, trying to educate you and me

Don’t scroll by with indifference and ignore their great pain

Read the story, feel their words, and share it again.

It takes courage to tell your story despite the stigma and shame

Knowing that some people will look at you as the person to blame

But what choice do we have when so many are dying?

The stakes are too high, we can never stop trying.

No one thinks it will happen to them, their kids are doing great

They’ve loved them and talked to them so they should be safe

It is a shock when you realize that addiction doesn’t care

It takes all that you believed to be true and turns it into a nightmare.

Great changes can only happen when good people care enough

To take a stand for something even though it can be tough

You see, today it is me that hurts and tomorrow it could be you

Don’t wait until it happens to find out what I’m saying is true.

We need those who've been affected and compassionate people like you

To take a stand together because it is the right thing to do

We can take back our communities by helping people to get well

Or you can accept the status quo and pray that you don’t face the same hell.

Written by: Rose Barbour on behalf of all advocates working hard every day to help those struggling with addiction and their families. Please join us in trying to stop the spread of this epidemic. A great place to start is by sharing this message to help us to educate. Thank you!
http://shadowsinpei.blogspot.ca/2015/01/we-need-you.html