My Addiction Poetry Collection

I’m Tired Dear Lord

By: Rose Barbour

I can no longer carry the weight
Of such a heavy burden
I’m tired Dear Lord
And my heart is hurting.

That little child you gave to me
Who I love beyond words
Is now someone I don’t recognize
Flying higher than the birds.

He is a slave to a disease
That is so very cruel
Lord, I’m trying to protect him
Isn’t that the rule?

In complete desperation
I stay up late each night
Praying for the answers
But I just can’t make it right.

Everything I’ve tried has failed
His addiction keeps on winning
I’m on a roller coaster ride
And my head is spinning.

I am exhausted, sad and
Have nothing left to give
I ask you Dear Lord
Please let my child live.

Save him from the grips
Of the demon’s hands
Please bring him back home to me
For I no longer can.

A mother’s love is a blessing
But sometimes it’s not enough
I need some help from you, Lord
This life can be so tough.

Please give me guidance
On what I’m supposed to do
Please help my heart to heal
From all it has been through.

I’ve met so many great parents
Who are living through this hell
Please open your arms to them
And heal their hearts as well.


The Heart of a Mother
By Rose Barbour

With her broken heart
She prays each night
Hoping for the day
That her child will see the light.

Feeling alone in the darkness
Her heart can hardly bear
The thought of her child
Sleeping on the street somewhere.

There is no rest for the weary
As one crisis follows another
The pain runs deep
In the heart of a mother.

Not much help to be had
Only stigma and shame
As she suffers in silence
In this deadly game.

The strain on her family
And relationships, too
But, she loves her child
What is she supposed to do?

It takes a strong mother
To love one with addiction
Why she was chosen
I believe, is God’s recognition.

He knew she could handle it
He knew the depths of her love
He knew he could trust her
With His child from above.

This nightmare may have made her
Question her faith
But, I have no doubt that in Heaven
For her, God has a special place.

Written by: Rose Barbour

BEAUTIFUL SONG VERSION: The Heart of a Mother on You Tube

Mama, don’t give up!
By Rose Barbour

Mama, I hurt so bad
From this life I’m living
The addiction that I have
Is so unforgiving.

Who I was
Is not who you see
This life is hell
It has hardened me.

I’m dying on the outside
And screaming within
It’s a deadly game
That no one wins.

The people I’ve hurt
At every turn
The roads I’ve travelled
The bridges I’ve burned.

Please forgive me
For the pain I’ve caused
I hate myself
But I was so damn lost.

Through the darkness
There’s a glimmer of hope
That I might break free
If I can somehow cope.

With nothing to lose
I’m taking control
Reclaiming my life
And my heart and soul.

Turning a nightmare
Into a dream
The power is in me
I want to believe.

So, Mama, don’t give up
I’m on my way
Keep your hope alive
And continue to pray.

Written by: Rose Barbour


I Will Never Give Up

By: Rose Barbour

Say what you will and think what you might
As long as my child still breathes
I will never give up

Put him down if that makes you feel better
As long as my child’s heart still beats
I will never give up

Call him terrible names and yourself a Christian
As long as my child still walks this earth
I will never give up

Judge him harshly if you are so perfect
As long as I am still breathing
I will never give up

Say he deserves to die or go to prison
As long as my heart is still beating
I will never give up

Look down on him as if he doesn’t matter
As long as I am still walking this earth
I will never give up

Your ignorance and hate will not change my love
I am his mother
I will never give up!
Dedicated to all the parents on this difficult journey. Where there is life, there is hope. We can never give up!

Deeper than the hurt
By Rose Barbour

This can’t be happening to us
It seems so unfair
A home full of love
How did it get in here?

Claimed by a disease
Ruthless and cold
My child is in a dark world
Where souls are sold.

It is hell on earth
Watching my baby slowly die
God please help us
I don’t want to say good-bye.

So many sleepless nights
Spent tossing and turning
I’m praying for a miracle
My stomach keeps churning.

There are no guarantees
Some will never get well
This life is hard
It is worse than hell.

But despite the heartache
And all the work
I love my child
Deeper than the hurt.


By: Rose Barbour

She will not receive a visit
Her telephone won’t ring
Another mother warrior
Feeling the sting.

Addiction stole her child
His sparkle all but gone
Another mother warrior
Wondering what went wrong.

With love as deep as the ocean
And a lot of faith
Another mother warrior
Prays and waits.

In a jail cell he sits
At home she weeps
Another mother warrior
With a child in deep.

To a grave site she goes
A weekly visit and cry
Another mother warrior
Wanting to die.

A mother to a grandchild
She fills that role
Another mother warrior
Protecting a young soul.

She sees the signs
A relapse is here
Another mother warrior
Living in fear.

Cautiously optimistic
She listens to his plans
Another mother warrior
Praying for her young man.

Colour in his cheeks
A smile on his face
Another mother warrior
Every moment she’ll embrace.

Living with pain
That is deep and true
Another mother warrior
Helps her family through.

Deserving of this time
To let your worries float away
YOU are a mother warrior
Each and every day!

~Rose Barbour

Silent Screams
By: Rose Barbour

The storm clouds are all around her
She prays they’ll go away
The blue sky of yesterday
Is now an ominous gray.

The wind is picking up
Through the streets she roams
Looking for her child
So she can bring him home.

The lightning spreads across the sky
Threatening to strike
She fears for his safety
Her chest is feeling tight.

She can’t find him anywhere
The streets are so mean
She looks to the sky and weeps
God, help me please!

Her cries are drowned out
By the chaos all around
The rain is beating down on her
While the thunder pounds.

She takes refuge from the storm
Needing a new plan
Questioning a life
That is so hard to understand.

She slowly starts to leave
Hanging tight to her phone
Shaking like a leaf
And feeling so alone.

There’s no family she can call
No friends to lend an ear
Just her silent screams
And a pillow full of tears.

Addiction has stolen her child
And it mocks her love
It hurts like hell
But she’ll never give up.

Written by:
Rose Barbour


By: Rose Barbour

Through sobs and tears
She kisses her son good-bye
In a hospital bed, she leaves his body behind
The pain is so great she’s losing her mind.

Good-bye sweet child
My boy in blue
You were everything to me
How will I go on without you?

Gone forever this gentle boy
Whose sparkling eyes were once filled with joy
But over the years they hollowed out
As he became a shell of his former self.

Each day, she put on a smile to hide the pain
Of a disease so painful it can’t be explained
She sat in agony each and every night
Wondering if her boy was doing alright.

Was he being cared for with a gentle hand?
Did anyone love her special man?
Would he meet a fate worse than death?
Would he be alone when he took his last breath?

Oh how she missed her boy, who he once was
That little boy so full of love
That band student playing an instrument so big
Smiling from ear to ear at every gig.

The beautiful cards he lovingly made
The flowers he picked on a summer’s day
That caring boy who made no waves
Was now a man she couldn’t save.

Though she did try to make it right
To give him hope to keep up the fight
He got sicker each day and lost his will
As he sought relief from another pill.

Addiction is cruel and has a high cost
Please pray for the moms who have loved and lost
They couldn’t save their children, though they did try
With broken hearts they wondered why, why, why.

Feeling alone in the crowd, she puts flowers on his grave
Saying one last good-bye as her tears came in waves
Who could understand this loss of a boy so kind
When the symptoms of the disease made people blind.

Blind to the person he was inside
Blind to the tears he cried at night
Blind to the way he hated himself
Blind to the way he truly felt.

Rest easy dear son you are now at peace
You are free of the chains that caused you grief
As for me, I am heartbroken and don’t want go on
But I will remember the happy times and try to be strong.

Love always, mom

Written by: Rose Barbour

The Mask

By: Rose Barbour

After another sleepless night
Filled with worry and regret
She has to start her day
My God, is it over yet?

She gets out of the shower
Leaves her face bare
She doesn’t have the energy
To even style her hair.

She runs a brush through
Pulls it up off her face
Life is so damn hard
She wants out of this place.

She is ready to go
“Where is it?” she asks
Oh, there it is
Her happy mask.

It has become a part of her
An essential piece
She doesn’t leave home without it
Oh, the secrets that it keeps.

It hides her devastation
The sadness in her eyes
It makes her look happy
It stifles her cries.

The mask throws them off
With its smile so sincere
No one seems to notice
That she is barely there.

She suffers in silence
Behind the smiling mask
She wants to be left alone
That’s all she asks.

In a moment of weakness
A wayward tear falls
The mask is cracking
She’s going to lose it all.

Her friend comes over
Are you okay?
She can’t tell her the truth
There’s no way.

She won’t understand
The pain of an addicted child
She won’t understand
How her life’s gone wild.

How she cries herself
To sleep each night
Dwelling on a life
That just isn’t right.

She doesn’t even know
Where her child is
He could be dead
How do you explain this?

She tries to say
I’m fine, I’m okay
But her friend insists
And she won’t go away.

She decides to open up
She takes off her mask
Her friend listens intently
Right to the very last.

As she sobs with grief
Her friend takes her hand
Removes her own mask
And says “I understand”

Written by: Rose Barbour

The Bridge
By: Rose Barbour

Addiction is killing her boy
But she’s told to let go
How can she do that?
She does not know.

In the midst of her pain
With all the tears
She reads about a bridge
And it eases her fears.

She can picture it there
Leading from darkness to light
Taking them to a better place
Where hope shines bright.

She knows they won’t make it
In this place of grief and despair
She wants him to leave with her
But he is too unaware.

He can’t see the bridge
Though she tries to show him
He can’t imagine such a place
Where hope keeps on growing.

To help him to see
She has to try something new
Crossing the bridge
Feels like the right thing to do.

This will be a leap of faith
Unlike any other
It tears at the heart strings
Of his loving mother.

As she crosses the bridge
She prays he will join her
She encourages him daily
To please come on over.

When he finally arrived
Her heart was full of love
She looked to the skies
And thanked God above.

Written by: Rose Barbour

To my addicted child on Mother's Day

By: Rose Barbour

You are that little baby I lovingly carried for nine months,

That little child who was so kind, caring, and sweet,

That beautiful youth with so much potential and promise,

Those were wonderful years that made being a mom so easy.

Now, you are lost to an addiction that many don’t understand,

While they don’t see the love and promise you have inside of you, I do,

I loved you at every stage,

And I’ll continue to love you at every age,

I don’t know why we were given the experience of so much pain,

But I’ll stand by you in the sunshine and the rain,

As I look around me on this Mother’s Day,

Seeing other moms enjoying the fruits of their labour,

With children who are now independent and living a good life,

It makes my heart ache because that should be us,

It just seems so unfair when I love you so much,

However, I realize that we are on a different journey than other families are,

But, when we come through it, we will be even stronger,

I am proud to be your mother because I know your heart is good,

I look forward to the day when you find your way back,

And we are living life as we should.

Personal note to all of my children:  I will ALWAYS love you and am so proud to be called your mom.

Please Don’t Judge My Son
By: Rose Barbour

There’s an unshakable ache inside my heart
The words you say that tear me apart
While you see a junkie and scum of the earth
I see the child who I’ve loved since birth.

I love him today as much as I did then
That you judge him so cruelly is an absolute sin
You look in disgust at my sick young man
When you could instead, make him feel worthy again.

With your cruel words, you keep him down
There’s no place for “them” in this nice town
You’d rather see him suffer another day
Than to lend a helping hand and lead the way.

What you don’t understand or seem to know
Is that attitudes like yours cause it to grow
A compassionate society will kill this disease
That thrives in shame, secrecy and general unease.

So many are dying, while some are barely alive
Simply existing in the world trying to survive
A slave to a disease that knows no bounds
As we turn a blind eye, it is making its rounds.

Let’s talk about it and bring it into the light
Let’s not let it win, together let’s fight
Let’s stop the judging and our misguided hate
Let’s open our arms to those we underrate.

Please give my boy hope and all the others
That we won’t stand by and lose another
We want them to get well and will do what it takes
To bring them back home for all our sakes.

Rose Barbour
With love, Opiate

By: Rose Barbour

I have never been so popular
So important and grand
I have never been so involved
With youth across this great land.

I started out as a simple pill
That would take away great pain
As I was hailed a hero and celebrated
My makers saw gain.

This was the beginning of my rise
And the start of your fall
Billions of dollars were made
While I hooked you all.

I hooked you in my web
Of lies and deceit
I made you trust me
While people died at your feet.

You trusted in my greatness
Said those people were weak
They could stop if they wanted to
Their morals were bleak.

I was a good thing you said
For pains of all type
You bought into the marketing
And all of the hype.

Those who I hooked
Would try to speak out
To warn you of my dangers
But you were devout.

You would not listen to them,
They were not raised right
They were bad people
Who deserved this fight.

Did they not choose me?
Why do they not quit?
You underestimate my power
Although it is legit.

I enjoy your partnership
As I spread across the land
I couldn’t do it without you
I hope you understand.

I want you to know
That you are the best
Thank you for your support
To Hell with the rest.

As people turn a blind eye
To my devastating ways
I will continue to grow
In surprising ways.

I destroy the young
I destroy the old
I destroy communities
But I am not cold.

I take care of my friends
Making them lots of money
That you side with me
Is rather funny.

Because I cost you money
Each and every day
As you pay for my destruction
Every step of the way.

Your courts, your jails
Your hospitals too
I cost them all
Many thanks to you.

Without your support
I could not win
Without your support
The trouble I’d be in.

Your neighbours would get well
and try to break free
But don’t worry, they can’t get past
Our team - you and me.

I know that you will keep those who I ravish
Hidden in shame
You will never let them forget
That they are to blame.

While I steal their lives
Their families, their health
You’ll shake your head     
While I roll in wealth.

They won’t dare say a word
With your judging eyes
They won’t dare ask for help
While you shame their cries.

With the silence brought on
By your judging words
I‘ll seek out more victims
Their cries barely heard.

The people who could destroy me
With a solid action plan
Will invest in other things
Not his fellow man.

Your indifference, your stigma
Your judging, your hate
Have allowed me to flourish
Far from Heaven’s gate.

Now I have grown
Beyond my wildest dreams
I will continue to prosper
Or so it seems.

I have so many to thank
For my continued success
From the bottom of my heart
Thank you - you're the best.

I couldn’t have done it without you
The destruction, the deaths
The stigma, the shame,
The silence, the quest.

Please keep yourself uninformed,
And your judging eyes turned on,
I have great plans for glory
If you help me along.

You’ll have many opportunities
To stand by my side
As I ravish your young people
And destroy many lives.

Just keep placing blame
Their parents, their homes,
This will ensure silence
While I continue to roam.

Well, I have to run
I spotted a teen all alone
On the schoolyard close
To his family home.

He looks like a nice kid
From a fairly good place
While they are the greatest challenge
With me no one is safe.

I will introduce him
To my charming ways
He’ll love me forever
Until  the end of his days.

So, until next time
It is good-bye to you
My friend, my partner
My dream come true.

Hey there kid.....

With love,

Written by Rose Barbour

Daddy, I Love You

By: Rose Barbour

What a precious child
She’s a gift from above
When I first saw her
I fell in love.

On that day I made a promise
To always protect her
She’s my little girl
Oh my God, I love her.

I protected her from bugs
And little worries in her head
I protected her from monsters
Living under the bed.

I fixed bicycles and wagons
Scooters and dolls
I tended to fevers
And the occasional fall.

She was happy and safe
As every little girl should be
The world would be her oyster
Just wait and see.

But there came a day
When things started to change
My little girl became distant
And was acting strange.

She no longer wanted to spend time
Doing the things we enjoyed
She was always in her room
What was wrong? Was it a boy?

I could feel it in my gut
Things just weren’t right
She wouldn’t talk to me
It was always a fight.

One day I found the problem
In a drawer in her room
A bottle of pills...Oh my God
This can’t be true.

No please, not my girl
With such promise and hope
Not my precious girl
Dear God, NO!

Addiction has claimed her
It is scary and real
My sweet little girl
Why can’t you feel?

Let daddy’s arms embrace you
Take away the pain
We can overcome anything
Just trust me again.

Take my hand and let me lead
So that all will be well
Let daddy do his job
And get you out of this hell.

“Daddy, I love you
But this is mine to fix
I need serious help from others
With your love thrown in the mix.

I am still your little girl
That will never change
I am just lost right now
It is all very strange.

Enough about me
You deserve a good day
Give your mind a rest
And let your worries melt away.

You are the best a girl could ask for
With your loving ways
I will always love you daddy
Happy Father’s Day.”

Dedicated to all the dads on this journey who tend to be quieter, but who hurt just as much.

Written by: Rose Barbour

A Tribute to Sage Capozzi

By: Rose Barbour

His name is Sage
And I’ve never met him
But he opened my eyes
To the devastation.

Before I knew his name
Or heard his story
My life was in chaos
And full of worry.

I knew my son was sick
And on the wrong path
I was fighting like crazy
To get him back.

Along came Carmen
Full of grief
He’d lost his son, Sage
To this awful beast.

My heart broke for Carmen
And all the others
Who had to bury their children,
Fathers or mothers.

The reality of addiction
Reduced me to tears
Our children need help now
They don’t have years.

At the tender age of 20
Sage lost his life
Carmen started an Army
To take up the fight.

Sage, your memory will live on
As the Army reaches out
In your name, lives will be saved
There is no doubt.

You have a special place
Even though we’ve never met
Your death was not in vain
And the fight isn’t over yet!

Written by: Rose Barbour

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