TODAY'S GUEST BLOGGER: DIANNE YOUNG
Below is a heartfelt and
raw posting from Dianne. Her son, Lennon, recently committed
suicide here on PEI after battling mental health and addiction. She is living
every parent’s nightmare. Please read every word, experience her pain, and make
a commitment to learn more about these illnesses, which are devastating so many
Island families. Lennon was not alone in his battle, but he very likely felt
like he was, as most people do when dealing with these issues. As an Island
community, we have to do a better job with addiction and mental health so that
people will have the best chance to get well and live life to the fullest. Let’s
ensure that Lennon did not die in vain. Change starts with one person. Let that
person be you…
“It's
a new year. Let's hope 2014 is a good one. The last few months of 2013 were a
time of sorrow. I became a survivor of suicide. You never want your kids to
leave this world before you do; however, that's not up to you. Our children are
lent to us, we don't own them, and we don't know how long we will have them.
They are my greatest gift.
I had Lennon for 29 years; the last 9 years
were hard. They were hard on everyone, most of all him. It's been
two months now. I see things differently than in the first few weeks. It was
like I got a kick in the stomach that first night when the police came to the
door. That was a fear I had. I knew it
was going to happen. I just didn't know it was going to be like this. We
couldn't have a funeral because his body was never found, and may never be
found.
Lennon felt he had no choice. The agony he was in came to an end that
cold November night. I have come to the acceptance that Lennon was in a
hopeless state. He suffered great emotional and mental pain. He was desperate.
The disease of addiction and mental illness tells you that you don't have it.
It is in your mind, your body and your spirit. This world was just too hard of
a place for him to be. My son was very sensitive. He didn't see any other
solution to end his pain.
There are many people that have felt this way and have ended their lives,
too. I think it's time that we look at it for what it is, and do something to
change the way our hospitals treat people with the disease of mental illness
and addiction. Treat them like they would if a person went to the hospital with
cancer. They need a clinic in the hospital just for people suffering with
mental illness and addiction. They need a psychiatry department. Services that
can help people who are in a desperate state, and not turn them away.
How many people have to end their lives before someone makes the changes
that we so need here on our Island? Suicide is not something to be hidden and not
talked about. It's not a disgrace or a cowardly act. It's a desperate act. It
is a devastating loss of a young man that feared life more than death. I feel
my son's presence with me. He will always be a part of me. His body has died,
but not his spirit.
I would like to have a meeting with as many people as I can get to share
their voice. We need to make a stand. I hope that whoever takes the time to
read this will be with me, and if there are enough voices that we will be
heard. Thank you for your support in the hardest time in my life. Dianne.”
Sincerely,
Rose
Diane’s story in The
Guardian: “People are dying. Something needs to be done.”
I agree that we need to have an outpatients of some sort to help all the people who are suffering. My biggest complaint about PEI is that we send our family for help or get to detoxed but we very seldom offer them the help of mental health councillors. there is a reason behind everything they do and we need to have professionals work with them to help them cope with their issues so that they are not always turning to drugs and just being treated for the addiction.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you! I can't even fathom what you've gone through and are still going through! I pray they find your son. God bless.
ReplyDeleteDianne I think about you every day my heart aches for you. May god continue to give you the strength and courage to get through this terrible tradgedy in your life. I agree with you 110 % that something need to be done to help people here on the island with addictions and mental illness.To put someone in the treatment center and detox them for 5 to 6 days is a joke then put them back out in society to do the same thing,it just doesn't work, these are people that need help there are sick. Its so sad.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you Dianne----a beautiful tribute to Lennon and recognition of mental illness which exists in our society!
ReplyDeleteGod love you, be strong! - And yes, there needs to be more done
ReplyDeleteI remember one of the first stories I ever wrote as a younger reporter in Charlottetown back in 1989-90. The headline was "Suicide: The Real Victims are Those Who are Left Behind." It told the story of a family whose son suffered from mental illness and ultimately took his life that year when we was 20 years old. It continues to sadden me that in 2014, the issue of insufficient services for the mentally ill and addicted still exists more than ever.
ReplyDeleteBless you & all your family, you have been so strong and I do hope that you will have peace in this time of sorrow. I do hope people will realize that every family is touched in some way by mental illness, and put pressure on to bring more services for addictions and mental illness.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you have to live this nightmare. My daughter is only turned 13 in June and last month she decided that she couldn't take the pain of having been bullied in the public school system for over a year anymore. She took 250 pills and she barely made it. When they started the iv they told me that pumping her stomach was not going to be of any use as she had taken the pills roughly four hours earlier. There was no drug available to counter the Lamictal so I sat beside her bed and prayed. When they got the iv in they started giving her fluids and potassium, the pills had taken the potassium her heart needed to beat and pushed it out of the cells around her heart so she required three bags right away. It was so scary. She is working hard on her recovery but there is a long road ahead and not many resources. My whole heart is with you and your family in this tough time. May God bless you and help you with the healing process. You're in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteWe, as people with addictions & mental illness, need to make a lot of noise. I'm all for a meeting with people like you, Dianne. And I know my daughter & perhaps my son would take part as well. I've liked your FB page, so if there is a meeting & you post it there, I'll see it. God love you. My heart goes out to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for leaving these beautiful messages of support and understanding for Dianne. I know they'll mean a lot to her when she reads them.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. I would also attend any meeting to try to get more focus on the issue of mental health Nd addictions. I have a 15 year old son who has been batteling with mental health issues for many years it is so frustrating that there is nothing here to help our Islanders!! Someone needs to do something. I worry everday for my son for he to has had thoughts of suicide and as a parent this is so scary and heartbreaking that you can not help! Even the Gov will not help what a joke!!!! Change has to happen!! I know my son wants help but in order to get it we need to go off Island uproot our family.. Our Government needs to get there head out of there asses and take care of there own!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your son . Here on PEI the mental health is so far behind time and should be more to help people with mental illness . I had a family memeber suffer with mental illness for over 40 years . The doctor would give meds and send her on her way . I only had one doctor that come to PEI she was from ont and had a plan for her was working but when she was released from hospital . She had to go back to the doctor that was treating her and changed her med and didnt follow through with the med and treatment plan that was made by the doctor from hospital that treated her in there . So there was so much more i could tell you about but the bottom line is more and treatment hospital for them and never turn them away because there is no room for them . Makes me sad to know we lose so many young people from mental illness . Shame on the government for letting this happen . We as canadians pay taxes so let start using them to treatment for all these people . We send funds to other country moneys when we they are in need we as canadas need to help our own out first and for most . I am so sorry for you loss . My wish to you is maybe by putting this story out there we are save another life of someone else child and have no more lose from mental illness
ReplyDeleteMy son is 16, this is what I fear and what I wait for. I feel so helpless because I can't do anything to help him. I have turned to so many people (professionals) for help and NO ONE can help, actually no one will help. An addict and someone with mental illness cannot see there is something beyond and cannot make a reasonable decision to reach out and change it or get help. When he was 13, a minor, I was told it's his decision, he has to ask for help & he can leave at anytime!!?? They kept him for 3 days as a suicidal, drug addicted 14 year old!! THREE days! Oh Diane god bless you and your family, and your dear Lennon in heaven. Thank you for your strength to provide your heartbreaking story and awareness.
ReplyDeleteI total agree with you 100%.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for everyone who has suffered the loss of a child (or more than one). I have lost 2 sons, though not to suicide. However, I've known several people/families who have lost children (and older) to suicide. If there is anything I can ever do for anyone - phone calls, visits, just someone to listen to your pain - I am here.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. I lost a cousin last year to mental illness. I also had family members who came so close to death. Over the year I have sat, walked and talked with many people who needed someone to be an advocacy for them. We need to do so much more for those who suffer from Mental health issues. If there is any way I can help please let me know.
ReplyDeleteI am 100% with you. And I'm only 18. But I gully agree and think pei needs to stop up and take mental illness and addiction more serious then they do. Our college needs to have 'mental healt & promotion' as a class. Our hospital needs to step up and not be so pathetic about this. its serious, and there are so many people who struggle with mental illness and addiction...
ReplyDeletei think a large population of this island should be ashamed of themselves for the way they treat people who are different from them...its quite sad actually that people obviously feel forced to take their own lives as opposed to living on this island...maybe if gossip wasnt the hot fuzz around here people wouldnt be so afraid of what everyone else says or thinks of them, and we'd be able to live our own lives, mind our own business, and recover from our struggles. but with a look of disdain upon the face of the 60yr old serving me my lg fries n coke, it makes me not want to be a part of that society too!
ReplyDeleteI am very sad to read this story on this blog. I did read the story in the paper at the time and felt very upset that this had to happen to this family and their friends of this young man. This is such a tragic story and as stated there have been many. I have great respect for this mother to reach out and handle some of her grief in public. Alot of people are unaware of the families living with mental health and addiction. Our family is dealing with these two issues with our daughter , it has been five years now and it is heart breaking. I have sat at the hospital begging them to keep her and help her until she could get a bed in detox, then begging detox not to let her out. No such luck , the cycle keeps on repeating itself until we can find a safe, sober house for our loved ones to go to after they have started their journey to become clean and sober.
ReplyDeleteThis is the root of the trouble, they can not stay with their families , they have no clean friends and their are not any facilities to help them become the person that they want to be. It is a very sad day when a person life is taken away and the family is left to wonder what could have been done. Again thank you for this blog so we can try to help each other, even if it is only our word. Take care and god bless you and your family.
Very sad story. I have a family member going through this and I fully understand how hopeless you can feel because there is really no way for you to help. Everybody everywhere needs to wake up and smell the coffee with this situation before more lives are lost.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane, I wrote to you shortly after this happened, and you were kind enough to write back. I live in fear everyday of getting that call, and I pray that I don't. Tormented and in pain and endless suffering truly is the life of an addict, how I wish our government would provide facilities to help, and a course of treatment. One that truly helps. Sorry you had to go thru all of this. I"m glad you feel his presence.....
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