Saturday, 18 October 2014

Promises to my struggling child


I will never stop learning about the disease of addiction until I completely understand it so that I can make decisions that will help, not hurt, you.

I will keep an open mind as I research so that I don’t miss out on the very thing that just might save your life.

I will listen to expert opinion based on evidence, not public opinion, when it comes to the treatment of your disease.

When the beautiful day comes that you find your path, I will be so proud of you and will celebrate wholeheartedly, no matter which pathway to recovery you choose.

I will treat you with love, compassion and understanding like I would if you had any other serious illness, and I will never be ashamed of you. You are sick, not bad.

I will never forget the important fact that the very thing (brain) you need to rely on to get well is the thing that is affected, which is what makes addiction so hard to overcome but it can be done!

I will fight your disease with all the power I have in me, knowing that my power comes from focusing on the things that I can change.

Those little glimpses that God gives me of the “old you” will serve as constant reminders of why I’m fighting so hard.

I will set boundaries that will keep our family healthy and you close to us, allowing you to gather strength from our love and support as you struggle to find recovery.

I will let you suffer the natural consequences (i.e. job losses) of your disease without rescuing you so that you might find the strength and will to change much sooner.

When I look into your eyes, I will see YOU, not your disease.

Finally, I promise to always love you and to keep up the fight for your life until the day comes that you find recovery, or one of us takes our last breath.

Love mom, 
the promise keeper

Written with love for all who struggle and their families
by: Rose Barbour, Living in the Shadows in Prince Edward Island


  1. Rose Barbour, I do not know what your child is dealing with, but some cases of "addiction" are actually attempts to replace what is naturally missing in their bodies. In the case of opiate addiction, some, not all, are using it for legitimate mental health treatment. While I do not advocate taking illicit substances to solve this, there exists a growing mountain of evidence supporting the notion that a lack of endogenous opioids inside of our bodies can lead to many illnesses, including depression. While not necessarily the case and knowing nothing of your situation, if your child has been suffering from depression for some time it may be worth looking in to. Regardless of what is going on, I wish the best for you and yours. I have seen far too much tragedy and suffering in this regard.

    1. Thank you so much for your informative comment. I am so happy to tell you that our son just recently celebrated the one year mark in his recovery. We are so grateful for the day at a time. I wrote out these promises in the hopes that they may be of help to others. This is the way we dealt with our son and his addiction.

  2. Beautiful, my daughter just celebrated 13 months from heroin and has been home for 4 days from treatemnet havnt seen her in 6 months. She looks like a brand new person. Im so excited l pray it stays this way.

    1. Tina, I am so happy for all of you! What wonderful news that will give hope to so many. Lots of prayers for you and your daughter that she stays healthy.


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