Pray for Me

Son:   “Pray for me”

Me:    “I always do” 

This is the exchange I had with my son last night as he was preparing to go to detox today. This is the first time he’s asked me to pray for him. The meaning of that is significant. He wants help. He needs help. He deserves help.

The prayer he asked for was that he would receive some type of treatment right away so that he can get his life back. He knows that there are wait times for the Strength program, and waiting lists for everything else. Even though the odds are greatly stacked against him, he feels in his heart that it will be different this time. That he will be offered something. I asked him why he felt that way. He said that he doesn’t know why. He just does. Dear God, I pray that he is right.

I believe in the power of prayer. My faith is what keeps me going in this difficult journey of addiction. If you could include my son in your prayers today, I would appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Rose

To my addicted child on Mother's Day

 

You are that little baby I lovingly carried for nine months,

That little child who was so kind, caring, and sweet,

That beautiful youth with so much potential and promise,

Those were wonderful years that made being a mom so easy.

Now, you are lost to an addiction that many don’t understand,

While they don’t see the love and promise you have inside of you, I do,

I loved you at every stage,

And I’ll continue to love you at every age,

I don’t know why we were given the experience of so much pain,

But I’ll stand by you in the sunshine and the rain,

As I look around me on this Mother’s Day,

Seeing other moms enjoying the fruits of their labour,

With children who are now independent and living a good life,

It makes my heart ache because that should be us,

It just seems so unfair when I love you so much,

However, I realize that we are on a different journey than other families are,

But, when we come through it, we will be even stronger,

I am proud to be your mother because I know your heart is good,

I look forward to the day when you find your way back,

And we are living life as we should.

-         

                                          ~ Rose Barbour

Personal note to all of my children:  I will ALWAYS love you and am so proud to be called your mom.

Tough Questions

I am delighted that the voices of addicts and their families are finally being heard. After years of fighting with addictions services for treatment for our loved ones; desperately sharing publicly our frustrations with the lack of treatment; and begging the government to listen, we are getting a response.

During these years of fighting for help for our loved ones….

Some of us buried our children.

Some addicts received criminal records that will follow them for the rest of their lives.

Others developed life-long health problems as a result of years of using.

I could add more examples of the high human cost of leaving addiction untreated for so long, but I won’t. These things cannot be undone but they can be prevented from happening to so many others.

To be fair, PEI is not the only province that waited this long to take action on the prescribing of opiates. However, we are the only one without a residential treatment centre for those who do become addicted.

It is well known that the longer one uses, the harder it is to get clean. Treatment has to be immediately available in order to have the best outcomes possible.  To do this, we need a residential treatment centre right here on PEI. We need it TODAY!

As we look to fix this huge problem, I have some difficult questions to ask because I think they are important in the face of an epidemic that we are looking to solve:

1.      Who is responsible for this situation with addictions reaching an epidemic level? This epidemic did not happen overnight. During a public forum in 2007, there was a discussion on the rising use of opiates among our Island youth.  Why did it take six years to address this issue?

2.      Why didn't Health PEI (and its predecessor) raise awareness of this issue a long time ago? Mt. Herbert has access to all the data on their patients, including ages, drugs of choice, and sheer volume of people needing the services.  Why were the alarm bells not sounded much sooner than this?

3.      If Health PEI was raising alarm bells, why did government not take immediate action to fix the problem? Furthermore, why was the public not informed like they would be for any serious health issue like Sars or Swine Flu? Why did so many people have to get sick first with this horrible disease? Why didn’t we try to protect our youth with more prevention programs?  Why were notices not sent to parents notifying them that there was a new type of drug (opiate) in town and our kids were seeking them out?

4.      Families and addicts have been saying for many years that the treatment being offered was inadequate. In the face of stigma, we shared our stories in the media because we were so desperate to find help for our addicted loved ones. Why was this important feedback from patients and their families not taken seriously?  When you want to know how well you are doing, you ask the people who use your services. It is that simple!

5.      If Health PEI, in consultation with the management on the ground at addiction services, failed to identify this crisis for what it was, should the same people be responsible for implementing the solution and creating new programs?  If they did identify the crisis but the government did not respond, then we need a stronger voice to stand up for the patients.

6.      Should we ask our addictions expert, Dr. Denise Lea, to take on a management role and lead the changes that need to happen within addiction services? Perhaps she might be enticed to stay if she felt she had some control over the situation. I’ve worked with Dr. Lea on different addiction-related projects and she has the passion and knowledge to get the job done with the proper investment from government.

This post is not meant to offend. It is meant to start an important conversation that will lead to real answers and real change for our neighbours and families battling addiction.

Sincerely,

Rose

Gratitude

My heart is full of gratitude tonight as I write this blog entry. Thank you to Health Minister Doug Currie, Opposition Leader Steven Myers, NDP Leader Mike Redmond, MLA Richard Brown and everyone else who came to the Guild tonight for the premiere of the Boys and Girls Club’s video called “Innocence Lost: Stories of Youth Addiction on PEI”. 

Having such a full house meant so much to me and the other folks in the room who are also battling this disease in one way or another. I know I speak for them when I say that we feel like our cries are finally being heard. Thank you!

I could hardly control my emotions tonight, and I was not alone. Not only was the video very powerful, your presence was too. Thank you for caring.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed in some way (media, politicians, social media users, etc.) to keeping the conversation going. Our addicted youth deserve nothing less than a chance to overcome this terrible disease that is robbing them of life. 

Thank you to the youth and families who shared their stories and to Jessica MacKenzie and the amazing group at the Boys and Girls Club for producing the video and to Health PEI for funding it. Thank you also to Lowell Productions for weaving the stories together so beautifully.

I will end this blog with my favorite poem, which really highlights the power of addiction:

PILLS

I destroy homes, tear families apart.

I take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold,

the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold

If you need me, remember I'm easily found.

I live all around you, in schools and in town.

I live with the rich, I live with the poor,

I live down the street, and maybe next door.

My power is awesome; try me you'll see,

but if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go,

but try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie.

You do what you have to just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit, for my narcotic charms

will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad.

When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,

I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,

I turn people from god, and separate from friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,

I'll be with you always, right by your side.

You'll give up everything: your family, your home,

your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give.

When I'm finished with you you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned this is no game.

If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body; I'll control your mind.

I'll own you completely; your soul will be mine.

The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,

the voices you'll hear from inside your head,

the sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see;

I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart,

that you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,

but you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen. Many times you were told,

but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away,

If you could live that day over, now what would you say?

I'll be your master; you will be my slave, I'll even go with you,

when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me,

what will you do? Will you try me or not? It’s all up to you.

I can bring you more misery than words can tell.

Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell...

"Innocence Lost: Stories of Youth Addiction on PEI" - Showing May 7th

Whether you are a first-time visitor, a loyal visitor, or someone who stops by now and then, thank you. While I don't have time to write as often as I wish, I do post inspirational readings every day. You can find them over to the right of the screen with the day's date.

Today, I wanted to tell you about an important film called "Innocence Lost" (see poster below) that will premiere on May 7th at 7:00 pm at The Guild. It was created by the Boys & Girls Club of Charlottetown. I shared our family's story in the video, and many other people shared their stories as well.  I am not sure if I made it in the video or on the editing floor (I haven't seen it yet!) but it was a worthwhile project to be involved with, and I can't wait to see it.  I hope to see you there too!




If you are hosting any events that will educate and inform about addiction, please let me know and I will be happy to share it on the blog.

Sincerely,
Rose