Wednesday 18 December 2013

Feeling blessed



I truly forgot what it felt like to have peace of mind. It feels good. It feels really good.

The last five years have been so hard for our family…

Our son was caught up in an addiction that progressed to the worst level possible...

We watched his health deteriorate right before our eyes as he became a skeleton with sunken eyes...

We ran into roadblocks every step of the way in trying to get help for him...

Our son had a disease that was treatable but there was little to no treatment available for it...

Our son (and many others like him) was crying out for help but no one was listening...

We had to resort to calling politicians (the first time in our lives) to beg for help. There is very little patient confidentiality with addiction as addicted Islanders and their parents have to do whatever they can to get help...

There was so much silence around the disease of addiction that it was deafening...

To add to our heartbreak, we would read anonymous comments in newspaper articles referring to my son and others like him as “druggies” as if he wasn’t even a fellow human being with value...

We would also read anonymous comments like “where are the parents?”, “parents need to parent”, “parents need to set good examples”, “parents need to stop expecting the taxpayers to pay the price for their poor parenting”, etc. as if we – and others trying to survive this heartbreaking journey – were bad parents who deserved what we were getting...

We were frustrated that our son had a disease that no one understood. A stigmatized disease. A cruel disease. A disease that everyone thought they were an expert on even though they never took the time to really learn about it...

We were saddened as our son’s life-savings (earned through paper routes where half his pay was saved for education and half for a car) was handed over to drug dealers when they came to collect...

We sat helplessly by as he was arrested...

We visited courtrooms wondering how the heck a member of our family ended up here...

We felt frustration when his sentencing included getting treatment for his addiction, even though he had already tried to get it and was turned down...

We saw our son in shackles being led to and from a court room...

In jail, we talked to our son from behind a glass using a phone. We couldn’t even hug our son...

I cried more tears then any mother should ever have to, and we carried more stress than we ever thought possible...

Life goes on no matter what you are dealing with or how you are feeling. During the past five years, we’ve had tremendous loss including my grandmother, my grandfather, my uncle, three young cousins, friends, and, most recently, my dear brother who died two months shy of his 40th birthday... 

When I look back now, I wonder how we got through it all in one piece! It reminds me of Mother Teresa’s quote, “I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”
 
Now that our son is better, my mind feels free. For the first time in a very long time, I feel at peace. I no longer think about my son dying. I no longer feel worry. I feel happiness. True happiness. I feel like a big load has been lifted and I can do anything. I feel free. I feel grateful. I feel alive.

Our son feels better too. He is so happy to have his life back. The kind, caring and generous person we raised is back, much to our delight.

Because I am so proud to be seeing our son’s upbringing shining through, I’ll end this post with one heartwarming example of his compassion for others. It certainly shows the human potential that is lost when we leave addiction untreated.  There are so many others like him who need us to look past the addiction to the person who is lost inside.

He and his girlfriend were standing in line to order at a coffee shop in Montague. There were three teenage boys ahead of them. The first two boys ordered Iced Capps and donuts while the third boy ordered a glass of water.

Our son assumed that the last boy was ordering water because he didn’t have any money.  He felt sorry for him so quickly came up with a plan to give him money without embarrassing him. 

He reached into his pocket where he had $3. He tapped the kid on the shoulder and told him that he found the money on the floor and was wondering if it was his. The kid said that it wasn’t. My son said, “Well, I don’t want it. You can have it”.  The kid gladly took the money and our son ordered his green tea and left.

Yes, our beautiful son is back!

Feeling ever so grateful for our blessing, and living one day at a time,
Rose

8 comments:

  1. Awesome Rose.Your son will go far!!!! :)

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  2. Rose I am so VERY happy for you & your Family,You deserve this peace & love, as do sooo many more family's caught up in this horrendous Disease of addiction.You Never Never gave up on your son..He is Back! Hugggs my sweet Friend..

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  3. Wonderful story!! This is a story that gives the rest of us hope...thank you for sharing!!

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  4. God bless you, your family and most of all your Son for he is a Survivor of the finest kind. He learnt lessons the hard way, his family endured lessons and life experiences one should never have to deal with. Our Province and our Country through the Politicians that are elected are needing to step up to the plate and do their part to ensure that journey's such as your Son and your family never have to be so bumpy a path to walk. Thank you for sharing this life experience. I truly wish you all a very Merry Christmas and all the best for 2014. May you never look back at what was but only look forward to what is.

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  5. Glad your family got to the other side of this terrrible epidemic that is destroying our childrens lives. Enjoy your son and Merry Christmas to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  6. Thank you for your wonderful comments everyone. I wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year. If your family is on this journey and not yet in a good place, I will continue to pray for you and your loved ones. Where there is life there is hope. Never give up. xo

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  7. So glad to hear that your son is doing well... he definitely has your kindness and compassion! I wish you and your family a joyous Christmas season and all the very best in 2014. You have done soooo much good in fighting for better treatment for addictions on PEI and deserve to feel blessed and to experience a sense of peace. May God continue to bless you and your family.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, which have touched me deeply. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.

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