Sunday, 23 March 2014


By: Rose Barbour
Through sobs and tears
She kisses her son good-bye
In a hospital bed, she leaves his body behind
The pain is so great she’s losing her mind.

Good-bye sweet child
My boy in blue
You were everything to me
How will I go on without you?

Gone forever this gentle boy
Whose sparkling eyes were once filled with joy
But over the years they hollowed out
As he became a shell of his former self.

Each day, she put on a smile to hide the pain
Of a disease so painful it can’t be explained
She sat in agony each and every night
Wondering if her boy was doing alright.

Was he being cared for with a gentle hand?
Did anyone love her special man?
Would he meet a fate worse than death?
Would he be alone when he took his last breath?

Oh how she missed her boy, who he once was
That little boy so full of love
That band student playing an instrument so big
Smiling from ear to ear at every gig.

The beautiful cards he lovingly made
The flowers he picked on a summer’s day
That caring boy who made no waves
Was now a man she couldn’t save.

Though she did try to make it right
To give him hope to keep up the fight
He got sicker each day and lost his will
As he sought relief from another pill.

Addiction is cruel and has a high cost
Please pray for the moms who have loved and lost
They couldn’t save their children, though they did try
With broken hearts they wondered why, why, why.

Feeling alone in the crowd, she puts flowers on his grave
Saying one last good-bye as her tears came in waves
Who could understand this loss of a boy so kind
When the symptoms of the disease made people blind.

Blind to the person he was inside
Blind to the tears he cried at night
Blind to the way he hated himself
Blind to the way he truly felt.

Rest easy dear son you are now at peace
You are free of the chains that caused you grief
As for me, I am heartbroken and don’t want go on
But I will remember the happy times and try to be strong.

Love always, mom

This poem is dedicated to the parents who have lost their children to addiction. I hear their stories almost daily and my heart breaks for them. I could not imagine that kind of pain but I attempted to write about it here, using what I know about the pain of addiction. I hope that it helps others to understand what parents with addicted children deal with, and the great pain we face each day. God bless each and every one of you.


  1. Replies
    1. So many people are living with this pain, and many are doing it in silence. I try to give them a voice so that people will understand the pain of addiction and that people who are addicted are loved. Their lives mean something.

    2. As a Mother who lost her only child, my Son, to this battle 41 months ago, I can only say thank you. I can hardly type this through my tears. Yes, my Son was loved.....he is my heart, my soul, and even in reason for living. In memory of my precious Jake..... <3 <3

    3. I am so very sorry for your loss, Lisa, but I am so glad to hear from you. This is the only poem I've ever written where I hesitated to share it. I didn't know if it did enough justice for parents like you and the last thing I want to do is cause further pain. It is a very painful journey through addiction and many, like your beloved Jake, pay a high price. Sending lots of love your way. xo

    4. How to respond? I have lost one child but not to addiction. Will I lose another? Right now he is battling an infected foot. He used a needle to shoot suboxine and hit a nerve. Made him go to the doctor. He is on 2 antibiotics and I don't see any change. I asked him if shooting was worth losing his foot? I dont think he gets it. Or maybe he does and the addiction is so powerful over him he really doesn't care. Yet I am worried sick and sick and tired of worrying. I want my Andrew back. So sorry for the loss of your children. Nothing is worse than having to bury your child. Addiction makes it even worse. Some say I shouldn't have him here in my home, and maybe I shouldn't but he is here and I am making sure he takes his medications as directed. The journey with an addict is a very painful journey. Please know I am sending positive energy and prayers to all that have lost a child to addiction. May you find peace. This won't let me put my name however my name is Pat Harrier from Pennsylvania.

    5. God bless you, Pat! You have been through a lot and are still going through so much. Many prayers to your son, you and your family. xo

  2. Heart wrenching,I just came home from a visit with my boy at the hospital. I pray everyday that he will come home and be stronger and fight these deomons.

    1. I am sorry that your family is going through this as well. I will say a prayer for your son. xo

  3. Wow...powerful. Beautiful Rose.

  4. This is so true, helpless, hopeless, broken

    1. It is a very difficult journey. I am sorry that you know how it feels. xo

  5. I am so fortunate to have found a place for ME...I have 3 children with addictions..I am emotionally broken and exhausted...I needed a place where I dont feel alone...Thank you for accepting my request...

    1. Welcome! God love you. You are carrying a heavy load. I am glad that you found this blog. I hope you find comfort in the postings, especially the daily postings from Nar-Anon (on the right of the screen). xo

    2. I, too feel fortunate to find this forum. I, too am emotionally drained, exhausted, and financially drained. I sit here and ask myself -- how did it get this bad. The only answer I can find is "addiction" Trying to detach from the addiction is very hard. So many fears that haunt me at night. I am so lost.
      Pat Harrier - Pennyslvania

    3. I am glad that you are here as well, Pat! We, the loved ones, are the best support for each other. Only another parent truly understands. Rose

  6. Rose, you are such a beautiful person and I hope to meet you one day. You are such an inspiration to all of us. My heart breaks to read of the loss parents have to endure through addiction or any other disease. We have had a rough 4 years but are finally seeing some hope with our daughter... but never I day goes by that this could have been our family... I will keep praying for all of us and keep reading your blog . It is truly helping me in my own recovery. You have no idea how much I need these readings to get on with my daily life. I will meet you one day soon and give you the biggest smile, tears and hugs. Summerside Take care Rose

    1. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it would be great to meet sometime to share some smiles, tears, hugs and hope! Thank you for following my blog. It warms my heart to know that I give you comfort each day. xo

  7. So glad u did the poem don't have kids like this but c bf and other people like this everyday and hard to believe people let a drug controlled them its sad wish best for all know been threw hell with bf for five years fighting it now str8 and getting better if wasnt for love I couldn't do it!! Thank u again for ya time and poem

    1. Thank you for your comment. Yes, it is a long, hard road with addiction. I wish you much strength on your journey with your loved one..


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