Addiction is a family disease
where every member is impacted in one way or another. The pain is gut-wrenching and sometimes you
simply lose hope, temporarily. But, somehow, in all of the pain and chaos, you find
the strength to carry on another day.
Today, I am sharing posts from other
mothers who are praying that their children make it out of this nightmare alive.
Sadly, love and prayers were not enough to save some of the children,
and they didn’t make it (I could not imagine!!!). Through their words, these
moms express their hopes, their fears, and their pain. Their emotions are very raw
and truly reflect the day to day struggles that we face as parents of individuals
battling addiction.
You will also hear from a very
brave boy whose mother and father are both battling addiction.
They have all given me
permission to share their posts with you.
“Yesterday, I lost my son. He drowned. He told the
treatment facility he wasn’t ready to leave. They discharged him anyway. Don’t
know if he was high or not. I don’t care. I just want my son back. My heart is
so heavy.” ~ Sarah
“I am sitting here bawling my eyes out and shaking
uncontrollably. I have had enough!!!! I honestly can't take anymore!! I hate
drugs and I hate this life and I am all done with it!! I don't want to be here
anymore. I can't be here anymore!! Son # two has been lying to me. He is still
actively shooting heroin!! I am soooo beyond repair!” ~Brenda
“My son is
in treatment. I'm so very proud of him but I do have some concerns, of course. I'm
the mom that's just so BURNT! Anyway, today he said something to me that
literally crushed me. It was so powerful. He said, ‘Mom, I'm doing okay but I
really wish I had CANCER where I could get chemo and radiation, and then
I’ll either get better or die. At least with cancer you have a chance at
getting better. Our disease NEVER GOES AWAY. We can only try to tame it. One
day at a time!’ I found so much sadness in these words. Here he is in an active
program and that's how he feels. I pray that he feels serene at some point in
his journey because I fear if he doesn't, why would he want to stay clean? I'm
praying for strength for my boy. Would you mind lifting him up in your prayers
tonight? Thank you and so much love to all.” ~Jessica
“Have been
on this roller coaster ride for 4 years and I want off. I want my son back. I
want my life back. I can't remember what it feels like to be truly happy.”~Tracey
“So
yesterday was a day of enough. Enough with empty promises and lies. Eight weeks
from sober living and nothing good. Empty promises.. yelling .. being called every
name in the book when I told him he was leaving! I got him a motel room. Drove
him there in tears. We cried and I heard more lies. I drove home in tears! He
texted me. You ok? You get home ok?.. yes and yes.. I love you... I love you
too.. more tears... I hate this disease. I hate what I had to do. I hate the
devil that keeps taking my son from me. I want that boy back who was in
recovery for those 4 months! I hate drugs and alcohol!” ~Gemma
“Wonder if
the day will ever come that I will just stop crying!” ~Ally
“I feel like such a total failure. One beautiful
daughter dead from addiction. My son an alcoholic and pill addict. Why did GOD
let me have kids if this is the way it would turn out? My heart ripped out and
bleeding. Raising my daughter’s three beautiful little ones. What assurance do I
have that this won't get frigged up too???? I am sad, tired, and always afraid
to hope. Put on the act for everyone around me. I feel like the most pathetic
loser in the world. Every breath I had went into raising my kids. I have plenty
of online support, been in counseling for 4 yrs. As hypocritical as it sounds,
I am a believer, and have such strong faith. Stood on GOD's promises. I don't
blame GOD. I am so damn lost, but still have to put every ounce of loving
energy into my grandchildren. I guess I just needed to get this off my chest.
You are the only ones I can be completely honest with. GOD help us all.”
~Pearlene
“Help me
breathe, please help me breathe! I cannot take another second of this madness!
GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!” ~Tanya
“My heart is heavy. On the way home tonight,
my 11-year-old grandson said, ‘Nana, I want to ask you a question, and I want
you to be really honest.’ I knew it was going to be a deep one. He said, ‘Nana,
when my dad gets out of jail, if he starts using again, what are you going to
do? Being in jail does not count as being clean. When he gets out what if he is
lying and starts again on the drugs??’ I told my grandson that I have already
told his dad that this is it. I can’t do this anymore. That if he goes back, I
will have to cut him out of our lives. My grandson said, ‘That is what you need
to do but can you do it?? I can do it because he has never been a real dad to
me. But I know how hard it would be to cut out your kid. But Nana, if you
don't, he is killing you.’ All I could say is that I would pray on this and
hope it never comes to having to make that decision. But how the heck does an
11-year-old get this smart???” ~Nana
This amazing grandson also
shared his story publicly in front of 300 strangers, including judges, lawyers
and parents. He even wrote the speech himself! Pretty amazing. The pastor said
a prayer with him beforehand, which calmed his nerves. He did a wonderful job. Here
is the video on You Tube (Dare Challenge Speech) . Grab a tissue.
Please pray for the families
who have been impacted by addiction: a disease that comes with very little help,
and very little family and/or public support. Most people suffer in silence in
their daily lives, reaching out only to strangers online. Crippled with fear of
how their family will be judged. These strangers provide a lifeline because
they understand. They are living the nightmare, too.
If we ever hope to save today's generation and prevent others from going down this path, we have to become a compassionate society who cares, even though we may not fully understand the cold, cruel disease of addiction.
Sincerely,
Rose
