Sunday 20 April 2014

Handcuffs













As someone who has experienced addiction first-hand in my family, and who tries to offer support to others who are devastated by it, I am always grateful to hear stories of recovery. These stories provide hope to those still in the grips of addiction because they show that recovery is possible.

Treatment and recovery look different for each person. What works for one will not work for someone else. It matters not how they found recovery. What matters is that they have their lives back and their loved ones have them back.

Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way that I do. Some are very opinionated, especially when it comes to such things as addiction medications. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, for sure, but it gets dangerous and very sad when their opinions lead to stigma and judgment of another person’s recovery. I find this heartbreaking.

I am a member of many online addictions support groups. Recently, someone posted a sign in one of the groups that clearly had an anti-addiction medications (i.e. Methadone and Suboxone) message. The member was looking to generate lots of support for his negative views on these medications. Oh, and the people did not disappoint. They laughed about these medications as if they were a joke. 

During the negative exchange, a young woman spoke up to say that she was on Suboxone and it saved her life. She was working and living again and was very grateful for that. That wasn’t good enough for these people, though. A couple of them even argued with her and questioned whether or not she was even in recovery.  I was heartbroken for her so I came to her defence.

When speaking up for her, one of the things that I mentioned was how a lot of people that I know had tried 12-step programs but relapsed. These individuals are still using, in jail or dead. I asked if we were going to start saying that the 12-steps don’t work. The members were silent.

My point was that what works for some, will not work for all. There is not a program out there that has a 100% success rate. That is why we need as many options as possible. We have to stop judging things that are really none of our business. Another person’s method of recovery is NONE of our business.

I couldn’t help but think of how that young woman must have felt after that exchange. Here she had been feeling so good about life. I can imagine that the attacks had made her feel bad. Bad enough to relapse? I don’t know! What were they trying to accomplish by attacking her recovery option?

If you are someone who has negative views about addiction medications and openly express them, what are you trying to accomplish? When you express these negative views, you stigmatize a whole group of people who have found recovery with Methadone or Suboxone. Why? Shouldn’t we just celebrate that these people have their lives back? Isn’t that what matters? Shouldn’t we spend our time trying to help those still suffering?

What compelled me to write this particular post today is the heartbreaking conversation that I had with another mother recently. Her son was a hard-core user of drugs for many years before getting on the Methadone program. He tried in the past to find recovery without addiction medications, but couldn’t do it.

On the Methadone program, he started living again. He went to meetings regularly. He reconnected with family and was working. He was feeling good about life. Everyone was happy to have him back. All was well. His family began to heal.

Over time, he began to feel the pressure to come off of Methadone. It seems that people can tolerate you being on it for a certain amount of time but then the silent (and sometimes not so silent) pressure starts. He felt stigmatized. He was reluctant to mess with things because life was going so good, but he felt coming off of Methadone was something that he needed to try.

Some people refer to Methadone as “liquid handcuffs” so this young man wanted to get rid of them. He began the process of weaning off of the medications. His life quickly went off the rails again because he wasn’t ready. He may never have been ready but so what! Now, his liquid handcuffs have been replaced by real ones. He is currently sitting in a jail cell looking at 7 years.

This is where stigma leads. When we judge others and make them feel inadequate in their recovery, it forces them to do something that they may not be ready for. This has to stop! When (or if) a person stops taking addiction medications is between them and their doctors – not the rest of us. It is none of our business.

I ask each of you to please start celebrating every person’s recovery. Whatever works is what we need to support. After all, the biggest handcuff of all is stigma. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Sincerely,
Rose

PS: I dedicate this post to all people in recovery, regardless of what your recovery looks like. It is not easy to recover. In fact, many people die because they can’t get there. Congratulations on finding what works for you. That is wonderful!

http://shadowsinpei.blogspot.ca/2014/04/handcuffs.html

14 comments:

  1. Rose you and I have spoke many times on this topic..As in my recent blog post " Mine is Bigger than Yours" there is no room for this kind of mentality. When someone is reaching for recovery..how they get there is not important..The fact they are there is to be celebrated !! No ones Journey will be the same with this sneaky disease..Which is why we must continue to fight for every possible treatment available!! Great Post..xo

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  2. It is so sad that people put up these road blocks to recovery. There is no other disease where people who are trying to recover are treated like this. I live with three young addicts. Two are on methadone and one is on suboxone. Two of them are doing absolutely fantastic... working full time and enjoying very normal lives without the turmoil. The other has struggled a bit but is doing much better now. It really has been a miracle considering the situation all three of them were in a year ago. However, they must keep the fact that they are on this medication a "secret" because they are fearful their co-workers and supervisors will find out... it is so ridiculous. I believe the way that the pharmacists dole out the medication contributes to the notion that methadone and suboxone users are "different". Having people come in the back way or making people go into a special room where they are observed even makes the people taking this treatment feel like they are doing something wrong and certainly gives the public the perception that this medication is not like others. It is all about education and Rose, we owe you so much for spreading your knowledge... thank you.

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    1. I am so pleased to hear that these three young people are in recovery. That is wonderful! There certainly still is a lot of work to do as far as educating and finding a system that helps to reduce the stigma. I am hopeful that we will get there one day. Please tell those young people in your life that there is a lady (me) rooting for them. Thank you for posting.

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  3. I don't see addiction recovery medication anyn different from other medications we use to live. Myself, I'm on a twice daily dose of Lyrics for chronic pain. Started on it 4 months ago any it has given me my life back. I know others on antidepressant a that literally keep them alive (although depression has its own stigma attached). Why must people consider others on medication ad weak or lacking. I challenge them to 'man up' and not take an antibiotic the next time they have strep throat or other infection. Your body should eventually fight it off, right? Or is it then length of time? You've strained your back and feel it's OK to use as pin reliever, an antiinflammatory, a muscle relaxant? Or perhaps all three for a couple of weeks. After all, you have to keep working. So how is THAT different? We don't tell diabetics it's OK to use insulin for a couple of weeks, but any longer band you're weak.
    It's time to accept that different people have different issues and require different treatments. ALL that matters, is finding one that WORKS!

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    1. Thank you for your comment. I am so glad that you have your life back from the burden of chronic pain. That is wonderful and all that matters. Have a great day!

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  4. Hi I read your blog...Im a recovering addict and befor I made attempts many times to get clean I failed at it..So last year of January I made the decision that I want and need to get clean cause if not I know I wouldn't be here today so jan 23/2012 I went into detox at mount herbert and was in there for 10 days and went I got out I was walking out on the methadone program..My option I dont care what anyone says about the program..It helped me stay clean living life sober is the best life ever..If it wasnt for the program I knew my family would of been burying me..I love my life today I see life different today I go to meeting regular and starting school this fall to get my G.E.D's and then collage after that..I want to work with youth with addiction...This blog that I read was well written..If you are reading my comment enjoy..

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    1. Congratulations on your recovery! It is heartwarming to read how your life has changed. I wish you all the best with your GED's and college. With your personal experience and learned knowledge, you should make a great youth addictions worker!

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  5. I am on suboxone and it's really changed my life. If i wasn't so lucky to have gotten accepted into a program and gotten on the medication I would still be an active user and be out a job ..would have lost my car ..my family..my little niece she's not born yet but my sister had nothing to do with me when she found out she was pregnant and I was still using ..that was my wake up call. Work put me on sick leave I went to treat me my successfully graduated my program and now I'm back to work talking to my big sis everyday and I've been right by her side since I got sober. And I know for a fact without suboxone ...i wouldn't be where I am today ...I have a friend who is on methadone. She is struggling to come off it. They say it's worse to come off of then herion ..I was lucky and got on suboxone I hope that coming off it is nothing like methadone ...God bless the ones who are trying to stop methadone I see her struggle and it ain't easy. Thank you for this post. I agree 100% with you

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    1. Congratulations on your recovery! It is so nice to hear about all the positives things in your life now that you've found recovery. I wish you all the best.

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  6. I agree with everything you are saying. Too many people out there have a negative opinion about us that take methadone/suboxone to get out of the cycle of using.. I've heard it many times 'methadone is no better than heroin/pills, you're still ingesting a drug, its bad for your health etc...' and this (in my experience) usually from people who have never even struggled with addiction. Sad to say I have even heard negativity from other struggling addicts which i cant even BEGIN to understand.... I watched both my father and his wife get there lives back and flourish, they are both very successful and more important, they are happy now. Methadone saves peoples lives, there no arguing that. I'm putting my life back together (albeit sometimes painfully slowly lol) with the help of this medication. Methadone is enabling me to stick around and watch my daughter grow up, to reconnect with my pops, to have positive relationships with the people in my life. None of this would be possible for me without methadone. A few ill informed negative attitudes and opinions about a drug that has save SO many lives will never be enough to steer me away from it, but it is too bad that some will look down on us for choosing that way to recover. Dont knock it 'till you've needed to try it, I say. Very much appreciated your post!

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    1. Brett, congratulations on your recovery! I was so pleased to read about it and also how your loved ones found recovery too. Thank you for sharing! I wish you all the best.

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