Friday, 23 May 2014

I'm Tired Dear Lord

I’m Tired Dear Lord
By: Rose Barbour

I can no longer carry the weight
Of such a heavy burden
I’m tired Dear Lord
And my heart is hurting.

That little child you gave to me
Who I love beyond words
Is now someone I don’t recognize
Flying higher than the birds.

He is a slave to a disease
That is devastatingly cruel
Lord, I’m trying to protect him
Isn’t that the rule?

In complete desperation
I stay up late each night
Praying for the answers
But I just can’t make it right.

Everything I’ve tried has failed
His addiction keeps on winning
I’m on a roller coaster ride
And my head is spinning.

I am exhausted, sad and
Have nothing left to give
I ask you Dear Lord
Please let my child live.

Save him from the grips
Of the demon’s hands
Please bring him back home to me
For I no longer can.

A mother’s love is a blessing
But sometimes it’s not enough
I need some help from you, Lord
This life can be so tough.

Please give me guidance
On what I’m supposed to do
Please help my heart to heal
From all it has been through.

I’ve met so many great parents
Who are living through this hell
Please open your arms to them
And heal their hearts as well.


Beautiful song version of this poem:


  1. Rose,This is one powerful Poem,I felt every line. Your Pen is as Powerful as your voice..xoxo

  2. Amen. May God hear these words each time they are read.

    1. Amen to that. So many families are hurting. Thank you for visiting my blog.

  3. Thank you for your powerful poem. The lines "Please give me guidance On what I’m supposed to do Please help my heart to heal From all it has been through." really struck home for me as I remember night after night of just praying for a miracle or at least someone to put me in the right direction to help my child because at that point, prayer was truly all that I had left. I am happy to report that my child is almost a year clean. Suboxone and a compassionate doctor who prescribed it was the answer to my prayer ...the change in my child in the last year has been nothing short of a miracle. Now my heart has started to heal. Everyone, please, please be kind to parents that are going through this... stop the blaming and shaming ... addiction is a disease in every sense of the word. Dealing with my child's addiction was so terrible but being made to feel that somehow I caused it, made our situation even worse. Rose, thank you for being there for us.

    1. Thank you for your beautiful and inspirational comment. I am so happy that your child has almost a year of recovery in. That is a true gift. Our son is also now in recovery (7 months). He is doing amazingly well and we are so grateful. Writing this poem last night brought be back to the days when I was experiencing a bout of depression because I was losing my son and there was nothing I could do about it. The poem is a true portrayal of how far I'd gone down. I was literally brought to my knees. I thank God for my faith, which got me through this journey. It is a very difficult one and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. That is why I write about our story. I try to help others who are on this journey and try to prevent it from happening to others. xo

    2. Thankyou for that poem. I too felt every word. Alot of people thought I should give up on my two and and it was hard defending them to their siblings as at times I spent more time with the two troubled ones. But I stuck in their showed them all I loved them equally and I am glad to say the change in my daughter and son in past 6 months has been great. Both are clean and relationships with their siblings are been slowly mended. We had a really great Christmas.�� ��

    3. I am so happy to hear your story! We had a beautiful Christmas this year as well. Our son is now 14-months in recovery and going strong. We are so happy and blessed. We never gave up either. We got educated quickly about the disease of addiction and learned what power we actually did have and used it. It is definitely a journey of learning and growing but, my God, it is a hard journey that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Hugs.

  4. Thank you for sharing your heart...and prayers. I see we are sisters on this journey and I too pray for all our lost children.........I too am tired.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I am very sorry to hear that your family has been hurt by addiction too! It is a long, difficult road. We are so grateful that our son is now 7 months in recovery and our family has begun to heal. I pray your loved one will find recovery as well. Hang in there! Wait for the miracle. When I was in my depression (as I wrote about in the poem), I was spent. I had nothing in me left. I had to get help for myself and learn more about the disease. I also began talking about it and met lots of other people going through the same thing. Little by little, I began to get stronger. You will too. Don't let the disease take you down too! xo

  5. This is beautiful.

  6. I could hardly read this through my tears. My son is also in recovery (just made 8 months sober). This disease has shaken our family to the core, and your words resonated with me so clearly. Thank you for sharing your heart so those of us that are on this journey with you don't feel alone. All my best to you and your family.

    1. I am so pleased to read about your son's recovery. That is just day at a time. My son is still going strong at 9 months. We are so grateful for his recovery.

      This poem was also made into a song, which I LOVE. It was recorded by a dad whose daughter struggles with addiction. Here is the link if you'd like to hear it.

      Thank you for your comment!

  7. I have read this before, but it was just as powerful and I felt every line you read. Such a hard road, Moms love their little one so deeply, no what they are doing or how old they are. Thanks for this site it is wonderful

    1. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Today, my son is 20 months into his recovery and doing wonderful. We are so blessed. xo

  8. I pray bits and pieces of this each night. You are a talented writer. I feel your heart in every line.

  9. This is such a beautiful poem, reading it gives me such comfort during such chaotic times. Sometimes everything seems so surreal while dealing with addiction and it’s after effects and yes I am tired. Dear Lord I am tired. ...... I have two children in recovery one long term, one short. I have a son in law, a best friend, another great family friend, and so on, all in and out of recovery. So yes dear Lord I am tired.


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